Celebrities Give Thanks

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Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and “give thanks” for our many blessings.  We asked several of today’s hottest celebrities what they were thankful for….

celeb-jihadBritney Spears is thankful for her two wonderful children…and Roe v. Wade…in no particular order.
celeb-jihadGuy Ritchie is thankful to be over his debilitating eight-year case of dry twat.
celeb-jihadPerez Hilton is thankful for Paris Hilton, a generation of celebrity-obsessed retards, and assless chaps.
celeb-jihadOscar the Grouch – “I’m thankful that Jim Henson is still dead.”
celeb-jihadKirk Cameron – “I’m thankful that my role of Mike Seaver in Growing Pains allows me to spread the word of God to lost souls watching A&E at 4:00 am. I’m also thankful that so many of those lost souls have bought my book, Still Growing, in stores now.”
celeb-jihadTwilight star Robert Patterson is thankful that teenaged girls are so god damn stupid.
celeb-jihadDr. Phil is thankful that middle aged women are so god damn stupid.
celeb-jihadLeonard Nemoy – “I’m thankful that JJ Abrams found a way to bring my only chance of working back from the dead…again.  Not even Jesus of Nazareth has topped that.” (Writer’s Commentary – “That’s my fave because I took a shot at Spock and Jesus.”)
celeb-jihadGary Busey – “I’m thankful that the recent economic downturn hasn’t affected the quality or quantity of delicious honey produced by my ant farm.”
celeb-jihadRichard Gere is thankful that everyone forgot about “the whole gerbil thing.”  We didn’t.
celeb-jihadSean “P. Diddy” Combs is thankful that Biggie Smalls took those potentially embarrassing rumors about bedwetting to the grave.
celeb-jihadRosie O’Donnell is thankful to live in a culture where being an ignorant loud-mouthed muff diver gets you on television rather than stoned to death in the town square.